Ten terrible newly-elected Labour MPs you should keep an eye on

Our first look at Labour’s Class of 2024

The 2019 General Election will forever be infamous for the low quality of the Tory MPs elected, many of whom the Conservative Party did not expect to win when they were selected. Some lowlights include paedophile Imran Ahmad Khan, Starmer-loving turncoat Christian Wakeford, and unstable attention-seeker Dehenna Davison.

Much of the focus since the election has been on the collapse of the Conservatives and the rise of Reform. Nevertheless, with Labour winning 411 seats, the Government benches are now full of new and mostly unknown MPs. In this article, Pimlico Journal introduces a few stand-out members of this gang of incompetents, ghouls, and extremists.

Luke Murphy — Basingstoke

Majority: 6,484.

Luke Murphy worked at the IPPR and founded the IPPR’s Fair Transition Unit, leading the IPPR’s work on climate, nature, housing, transport, and infrastructure. Murphy’s work is a treasure trove of mental eco-communist fantasies. Just to use one example, Murphy founded the ‘landmark’ cross-party Environmental Justice Commission, which was co-chaired by loony leftist Caroline Lucas. The final report of the Commission, written by Murphy himself, included the usual leftist bunkum of needing to see Net Zero as ‘an opportunity to be seized’, but also made a series of outright communist policy suggestions, such as universal access to free public transport by 2030, direct dividend payments to the public, a permanent national citizens assembly for climate and nature deliberation, a tax on foods with ‘excessive’ sugar, fat and salt, and further environmental rules on planning which would effectively ban any new dwelling being built in London. Now that Murphy sits in the Commons, he has a chance to make his crazed dystopian fantasies a reality.

Anthony ‘Tony’ Vaughan — Folkestone and Hythe

Majority: 3,729.

Anthony ‘Tony’ Vaughan is a barrister who specialises in immigration law, which should immediately set alarm bells ringing. A cursory search of the internet reveals that The Express has already done the dirty work of writing a hit piece. The case which causes controversy involves a Kenyan national who came to the UK on limited leave as a student. Said Kenyan man was then convicted under the Terrorism Act of downloading prohibited material and sentenced to prison. He then claimed asylum in the UK, successfully, as he was now at risk of persecution in his native Kenya for being, you know, a convicted terrorist. Tony Vaughan was one of the barristers who successfully defended the Kenyan in the Court of Appeal.

To defend a convicted criminal from deportation is bad enough; to defend one who was convicted of terror offences is even more despicable. He is not fit to be a Member of Parliament, and clearly does not care about British interests at all.

Josh Dean — Hertford and Stortford

Majority: 4,748.

Josh Dean is an undergraduate politics student, currently attending the University of Westminster, which would make Keir Starmer’s alma mater of Leeds look like Plato’s Academy by comparison.

Sitting at 118th on the university league tables, one can only imagine the state of the education that Dean has received. To make matters worse, despite starting university fully four years after he left school, Dean had to begin his course with a foundation year. Presumably a foundation year in politics at the University of Westminster consists of a number of spelling tests to bring the literacy of the students up to the level of an eight-year-old. We wish Josh the best of luck in his final exams.

Calvin Bailey — Leyton and Wanstead

Majority: 13,964.

Several military veterans have been elected as Labour MPs this election, and we can only hope that they are less deranged than their Conservative counterparts. Of the Labour veterans, Calvin Bailey stands out. Alongside his service in the RAF, Bailey was Chair of the RAF BAME Network from 2021 to 2024. While public pronouncements from Bailey are hard to find, beyond the standard RAF press releases celebrating Wokeness, we know plenty about what the BAME Network got up to. In June 2020, the Chief of the Air Staff Mike Wigston held a virtual meeting with the BAME network where he committed to ‘push positive action to the limit of the law’.

The advocacy of Bailey’s BAME Network in the years after surely played its part in forging the RAF’s anti-white policies, with staff instructed to stop hiring ‘useless white male pilots’ and illegal orders given to pause the selection of white male recruits. Bailey has seemingly never commented on the anti-white discrimination which was found to be rife in the RAF.

Josh Simons — Makerfield

Majority: 5,399.

Unlike most Labour MPs, Josh ‘Starmtrooper’ Simons seems genuinely intelligent. He graduated with a degree in social and political sciences from Cambridge with a starred double first. He then moved to Harvard University for a PhD while also working as a research assistant, later research fellow, at Cambridge. Unfortunately, much like his fellow Cantab Kim Philby, at some point during his studies he was infected with the Woke mind virus. At Harvard, Simons’ research focusses on whether data sets used by machine learning models are racist, while exploring ‘how the purposes of equality and civil rights law can be achieved in an age of widespread statistical decision-making’, which is an interesting way of admitting that civil rights law is incompatible with reality.

Simons argues for greater state intervention in machine learning (hoping to make provisions for ‘more widespread positive duties to promote equality’), states that AI should be treated like a public utility, and has opined that Britain and the United States ‘might learn from the Indian approach to promoting equality’. Simons is a prolific writer and has also argued for a codified constitution and written that the British Empire’s history was a story of ‘racial supremacism and exploitation’, which also led to a ‘multi-ethnic and multi-racial sense of Britishness’. As former Director of Labour Together, Simons is a fierce supporter of Keir Starmer; expect to see him at the despatch box soon.

Georgia Gould – Queen’s Park and Maida Vale

Majority: 14,913.

Some people seem to be born to hold power. Unfortunately, in the case of Georgia Gould, that is not a testament to her talent. G(h)ould is the daughter of the late Lord Gould, advisor to Tony Blair, and Baroness Rebuck, another Labour life peer and Chair of Penguin Random House UK. Young Georgia grew up holidaying with New Labour royalty like Alastair Campbell, Tessa Jowell, and the Blairs.

After graduating, she worked a succession of fake jobs, including for the Tony Blair Faith Foundation, and wrote a terrible book called Wasted: How Misunderstanding Young Britain Threatens Our Future. In a review, The Guardian noted that Gould is a ‘political activist, a doer, a joiner, a campaigner’, which is code for ‘useless New Labour ghoul’. The Guardian also informs us that Gould is ‘not a natural writer’. I shan’t be reading her book.

Gould also used her connections to get a seat on Camden Council at the tender age of twenty-four, and she later became Leader. While Gould’s public profile doesn’t offer any evidence that she will be especially awful in Parliament, at least compared to some of the others on this list, neither does it demonstrate any talent whatsoever. Gould is a totem of the very anti-meritocratic system which her father’s good friend Tony Blair instituted, and which continues to hold our country back.

Gurinder Josan — Smethwick

Majority: 11,188.

Gurinder Josan, CBE, is a politician of no particular note who has nonetheless lived an inexplicably charmed life. A member of Labour’s NEC, Josan stated that he stood for election to the Committee during Jeremy Corbyn’s leadership in the hopes of ‘improving diversity and representation’. If Josan thinks the Labour Party is insufficiently diverse, then the United Kingdom must look like Iceland.

Most worryingly, Josan is a trustee of the far-left activist organisation HOPE Not Hate, and former Chair of their charitable trust arm. I am sure that readers of this magazine do not need an explanation of why that should send a chill down all our spines.

Torsten Bell — Swansea West

Majority: 8,515.

Torsten Bell has lived a life of political failure. First bursting into the limelight at the age of twenty-six when he was appointed a Spad to Alistair Darling during the Financial Crisis, the Labour Party lost the General Election two years later. He then served as Ed Miliband’s Director of Policy. While working for Miliband, he was the brains behind the infamous ‘Ed-Stone’, an eight-foot-tall gravestone that became a symbol of the incompetence and delusion of Ed Miliband’s Labour Party. It left one fellow Labour staffer screaming at the television when they first saw it.

Following Bell’s disastrous stint at the Labour Party, he fell upwards and was appointed Chief Executive of the Resolution Foundation, where he made all sorts of policy pronouncements that nobody listened to. Bell somehow managed to cultivate a reputation as a policy wonk despite never accomplishing anything of note, and Starmer handed him a safe seat for the 2024 General Election. Starmer did at least have the good sense to ship Bell off to Wales so he wouldn’t be hanging around in London to make any more ‘helpful’ suggestions.

Miatta Fahnbulleh — Peckham

Majority: 15,228.

Miatta Fahnbulleh is a self-described ‘heterodox economist’ who wants to ‘blow up economics’ because the discipline is dominated by ‘white men’. As Chief Executive of the New Economics Foundation (NEF), Fahnbulleh was one of the leading cheerleaders in the policy world for Jeremy Corbyn’s far-left leadership of the Labour Party. Anyone with time to kill can peruse the NEF’s backlog of publications at their leisure here, but Guido Fawkes has a useful summary: Fahnbulleh’s NEF argued for mass nationalisation, a wealth tax, a cap on interest rates, a huge expansion of the benefits system, and strict new rules on banks to ensure they toe the line on the net zero agenda.

As if one of these loons wasn’t enough, Fahnbulleh will also be joined on the Labour benches by Jeevun Sandher, MP for Loughborough and until recently Head of Economics at the NEF.

The Rest — Various

For our last entry, we have chosen not to focus on a particular MP, but on the rest. That is, on the mass of unexceptional, undistinguished, unqualified men and women who have devoted their lives to toeing the Labour Party line and will now reap the rewards. The Labour benches will be filled with these milquetoast characters. Many of them — like Jacob Collier, Jack Abbott, and Peter Lamb — were in junior roles in comms or public affairs before their election. Others — like Natalie Fleet, Becky Gittins, and Dave Robertson — are low-level trade union apparatchiks. There are dozens more who could be name-checked, each of them with no particular trait to distinguish them from the rest.

What links them all together is their utterly unremarkable careers, and the fact that none of them have ever done productive private sector work. Their singular goal has been to work their way through the Labour hierarchy to the very top, to Parliament. Having never had a single original thought in their lives, these lumpenbackbenchers will simply march through whichever lobby the Labour whip tells them to.